my pregnancy at 40 weeks

So Tuesday was my due date, and as I’ve said all along it came and went without much sign of impending labour.  I’ll be honest, this is a scheduled post which I actually wrote on Wednesday so there is a chance I could have gone into labour by now…but I’m guessing probably not.  This little man really isn’t allowed to make an appearance until today anyway, as our four year old had his sports day on Friday and his nursery graduation yesterday so I wanted to hold on until after those!

The past few weeks have seen me doing some half-hearted nesting (though there was one day where I actually crawled under our bed to do a thorough hoover, dragging out all the storage boxes that live in there and sorting through their contents), and swinging from alternatively being ready for baby boys arrival to feeling as if I could still use a few days before he gets here!

So how have things progressed since I last updated at 37 weeks?

Body at 40 weeks

  • I am uncomfortable a lot of the time now!  I actually think I’ve been struck by some late-onset SPD, which is just fucking wonderful.  At least it didn’t rear its ugly head until now, unlike my last pregnancy where it plagued me from about 30 weeks.  Getting up from sitting, or rolling over in bed are when it’s worst, but it’s even making me avoid sitting on my birth ball as the discomfort afterwards makes my eyes water.
  • Weight wise, I’ve remained fairly stable and am still sitting about a stone heavier than I was when I being mindful about my weight at 18 weeks and probably 1.5 stone (21lbs) overall.  I’m still hopeful that at least 10lb of that is baby, fluid and placenta!
  • The trapped wind is back most days too, though not as painful as it was before.  Now I just have to put up with some crazy noises, which sound like little jets of gas going off in an empty tunnel…if I wasn’t reminded by a very wriggly baby that the opposite is true, I’d think my bump was hollow.

Mind at 40 weeks

  • I’ve still not really found that calm headspace I was hoping would come with maternity leave.  I’m constantly worried about the house not being clean enough to give birth in…and I know a lot of that is nesting, but it is driving me a little bit bonkers.
  • I do feel more ready to meet our boy now.  I know previously I wasn’t in a place where I was ready to let this last pregnancy go, but now my feelings of excitement and curiosity about meeting this wee bundle are taking over and I can’t wait to see what he looks like.  I still can’t quite imagine him being here, but I can’t wait until he is.
  • I am feeling a little isolated though.  I don’t have the energy to make plans to see anyone, and I think (hope) my friends are giving me space in my final days, so as a result I do feel a bit of a recluse.
  • On the flip side, my mum wont leave me alone and this is really stressing me out.  I’m tempted to not answer her calls, but I know she’d be up at the door if I left it too long.  And I know she’s just worried and wants to support me, but I’ve said all along that I don’t want her around when I’m in labour.  She is very full-on and smothers me, to the point where I think that’s why I made some choices in my last labour which I hadn’t planned to make.  I’ve asked her outright to give me some space, but she is choosing to ignore that…so maybe it isn’t just nesting that is stopping me from fully relaxing.

Baby at 40 weeks

  • After a few weeks of panicking that he was stubbornly lying back to back, he finally turned at 39 weeks and seems happy…maybe too happy, if the passing of his due date without event is anything to go by!
  • He is still ninja kicking like crazy.  I’m surprised he has any room in there for the antics he gets up to, but considering a woman I didn’t even know commented on how much she could see my belly moving from across a room the other day it would appear he can make room.
  • We had a clear out of the four year old’s room at the weekend, and got rid of some of the baby toys we had originally kept.  We’re aware that this wee one is going to be the hand-me-down kid, so figured we should create some space for him to at least get the odd new thing once in a while!

Fuel, Fitness & Rest

  • I have zero energy, even though I’m still sleeping most of the night.  A wander round the supermarket makes me need a lie down before I can function again, so it goes without saying that exercise has been non-existent.  I’m ok with that though, I did well to keep working out until week 38 and it would be stupid to push myself right now.
  • I’m fighting diet demons though.  I’m hungry all the time, but although my meals are generally still very nutritious I’m eating a lot of crap in between.  I don’t expect to be “dieting” right now and I think it’s fine to cut myself some slack, but I feel a bit out of control. I’m angry with myself at making such horrendous processed and sugary snack choices…I thought I knew better than that.
  • I’ve struggled to make time to work on relaxation, and I know that I could really benefit from it.  I’m planning on using hypnobirthing techniques in labour so I really should have been prioritising that.

 

So the end is in sight, and hopefully my next update will be to announce this little man’s arrival.  I can’t believe how quickly or how well this pregnancy has gone, I couldn’t have asked for a better one to end my childbearing days with.  I’m gutted I wont be doing this again!  All that remains is to trust that I will get the birth I have planned for, and to wait it out until I can hold my new baby in my arms.

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my pregnancy at 37 weeks

Week 37 is done and dusted!  I finished up for maternity leave in a cloud of cake and very generous gifts last week and the midwives go on call for my homebirth from tomorrow…the end is in sight!  But actually, I hope I’ve still got a little while to go yet, as I don’t feel ready for birth or for meeting our new little man just yet.

I’m sure this boy will be like his brothers and show up late, but a lot of people are convinced I’m going to go before my due date, so I’ve always said that as long as I get at least a week of maternity leave to put my feet up first, he can come whenever he wants.  But that’s me been on leave for nearly a week now, and I’ve not done any relaxing at all!  I went shopping with my mum all day for my birthday, spent a whole day waddling around the Ideal Homes exhibition on Saturday, we were out celebrating the christening of my friends’ beautiful little girl all day Sunday and yesterday I took the boys to a local farm where I went on a tractor ride (honestly thought my waters would burst) and walked through the woods looking for fairy doors.  In amongst that I’ve been doing housework and trying to nest, and today I need to get things ready for my oldest son’s birthday tomorrow.  I don’t see me chilling out until Friday, so this boy better stay put for the foreseeable!

Plus…I’m not sure I’m ready to let go of being pregnant.  This is our last baby (though my friend and I did get Hubs to agree to baby number 4 at the christening party…though I think that may have had more to do with the cheap bar than any serious commitment), and this pregnancy has been such a wonderful experience.  So as much as I want to meet our little wriggler, I’m not ready for this pregnancy to be over.

So how have things progressed since I last updated at 35 weeks?

Body at 37 weeks

  • I don’t feel I look very different to how I did a few weeks ago.  And people tell me mixed things too (“oh, you’ve dropped” or “you’re still carrying quite high” or “you’re still so neat” to “you can really see a difference this week”) so clearly I’m not the only one unsure.  But I feel different, especially if I’ve been on my feet for too long.
  • Weight wise, I’ve put on another 1.5lbs since 35 weeks.  That makes it a stone since I started being mindful about my weight at 18 weeks and probably 1.5 stone (21lbs) overall.  Hopefully at least 10lb of that is baby, fluid and placenta!
  • I’m still getting off fairly easy on the symptom side of things too – no real heartburn, no leg cramps, only very slight restless legs last thing at night sometimes.  Even the trapped wind which was really bothering me a few weeks ago has eased off.
  • I do hit a wall in the afternoon most days were I could definitely do with a nap…but that might have more to do with how busy I’ve been more than anything.

Mind at 37 weeks

  • It’s not a quiet, chilled out mind, that’s for sure!  Like I’ve mentioned, I don’t feel ready for this baby yet, and I think that’s a big part of it.  The house is a mess and I can’t seem to find the time or energy to fix that.  So instead I lie in bed worried that I’ll go into labour in a pig sty.  I know if I pull my finger out and get it done today I’ll be much happier tomorrow, but time just seems to run away.
  • My main feeling is one of sadness.  I’m sad that this pregnancy is nearly over and I’m little sad to think that for the four year old things are going to change quite a lot.  He will no longer be the baby, and I blogged about how that upsets me.
  • On a more positive note, I’m excited for the birth and confident in my ability to cope with it.  We’re all set for our home waterbirth, and a lot of that confidence comes from the Hypnobirthing course I’m doing, which I’m hoping to blog about this week.

Baby at 37 weeks

  • We have a name!  And it was chosen by our four year old.  What’s impressive is that it is neither dinosaur nor construction site related!
  • His moses basket is all ready for him, the cloth nappies are washed and waiting, and he has more clothes than he will ever have time to wear.
  • We’re still on track for a big chunky boy…but that was never in doubt.

Fuel, Fitness & Rest

  • I’m quite sad that at the final hurdle I’m really failing on the fitness and nutrition fronts.  I’ve made bad food choices for a few weeks now, and can’t seem to get myself back on track.  I’m feeling guilty about the amount of sugar I’ve been consuming and I’m worried that I’m letting myself down by not fuelling my body better.  I need to think of my upcoming labour and birth as a marathon – no runner would prepare for that by eating cake after cake in the last weeks before the race!
  • My motivation to workout seems to have disappeared.  I think that’s a symptom of feeling like I have so much to do, so I talk myself out of a workout and instead promise I’ll do some housework…and then neither gets done!  I’m cutting myself some slack in this respect, as I’ve been out and about so I’m not exactly inactive, but I had hoped to exercise right up to the birth so it’s annoying me on a personal level.
  • Sleep is still pretty great, mainly thanks to my pregnancy pillow.  So I can’t blame not sleeping on my lack of motivation.

 

Overall, things are still going great.  I think I’m just psyching myself out.  I’m hoping that the next couple of days will be all I need to get me back on track and get my house sorted out, and that I still get that week of chill-out time before baby boy decides to join us!

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my pregnancy at 35 weeks

So that’s me crossed off the 35th week of pregnancy, and with just a week and a half left of work it’s getting really exciting to think that this little man is nearly here.

I arrived home on Saturday, after taking our 4 year old to a birthday party, to find all my lovely girlfriends standing waiting for me on the driveway.  They’d only gone and thrown me a surprise baby shower!!  And it really was a surprise – I’ve never had one before, and everyone had kept it really secret.  Even Hubs, who let me have a bit of a bratty (I blame the hormones) moan earlier in the week after the green eyed monster bit me – another friend is having a shower thrown for her in a few weeks and I was feeling left out.  Little did I know they’d been planning mine since February!

We played some games, ate a lot of food and just spent a few hours chatting.  It was lovely to have all my favourite people in one room, as some of my friends hadn’t met one another and I got to introduce them to my step-daughter, mum-in-law and my mum.  I was so touched at the effort made, and I was reminded just how lucky I am to know such a wonderful group of women.

That’s a nice head-space to be in as I drag myself through the last few weeks of pregnancy.  So how have things progressed since I last updated at 30 weeks?

Body at 35 weeks

  • I swing from thinking I’ve not grown much, to feeling bloody enormous!  My H&M maternity trousers are uncomfortable around my bump now and leave an unflattering muffin-top look halfway up, and I certainly feel heavier when trying to get comfy in bed or on the sofa!  But when I look down, or when I’m in my workout gear, I don’t see a big change.  I’m still “all bump” and can still see my waist, which is a new thing for me because I usually just swell out in all directions!
  • I’ve put on 5.5lbs since 30 weeks, and I’m hoping most of that is baby…but I have a feeling that’s wishful thinking!
  • I’m still pretty symptom-free, but I did have one episode of heartburn that I literally thought was going to kill me from the oesophagus out.  It woke me up and left me coughing and struggling to breathe because the stinging and burning was so bad.  And I have the most wickedbad trapped wind, I’ve been in agony most nights this week…who knew a lost fart could cause so much pain?!

Mind at 35 weeks

  • In general I’m feeling pretty positive, though I could feel myself starting to get a bit defeated now that discomfort and pain are getting to me.  It was amazing to have the lift of the baby shower yesterday to catch me before I sank, and put me back on a positive wave length.
  • I do have a constant nagging feeling though.  We still have a lot of things to get ready, and at times I panic that this will be my first baby to come early and we’ll be caught off-guard!  But then I rationalise with myself that my babies always come late, so I do still have time to play with.  Hopefully this week I can get the essentials dealt with, and then have time to focus on getting myself prepared!
  • Our birth plans are coming together.  I already blogged about our plans for a home birth and hopefully will be blogging this week about our water birth plans too.  I’m doing a hypnobirth course, so that will probably get it’s own blog post as well!  I know plans don’t always come off the way you want (trust me, with one induction and one car park birth under my belt, I know), but I’m planning for the best case scenario this time around.  The midwife is coming out for a home visit this week to stake out our joint – fingers crossed my house keeping meets her approval!

Baby at 35 weeks

  • With a previous 9lb 7oz baby followed by his 8lb 1oz brother (and daddy being 9lbs 11oz!), a small baby was never on the cards.  I was sent for a growth scan last week, and we’re hovering around that 90th centile again.  I’m not that bothered with any of that though, as I’ve never heard of anyone whose growth scan got it right, and whatever his size it will be the right size for him, and that will be perfect.
  • We have one or two crazy busy periods of movement a day, with other ones in between.  He’s head down, but obviously spinning around on it like a breakdancer as at times he’s all limbs to the front, jabbing away at me.
  • Still no name.  Shortened long-list, but no finalists.

Fuel, Fitness & Rest

  • After keeping a good handle on my diet and weight gain between 17 and 30 weeks, I’ve really struggled recently.  I’ve not been motivated to keep a food diary, which always signals trouble.  I had a craving for a burger this week so had a big indulgent meal, and then there were a lot of cakes (still are, my house is full of them!) at the baby shower which I just didn’t control myself around.  And that’s just been this week.  I think I’m on track for another big gain, but I’ll make peace with that and just try to be more health-conscious in the weeks I have left.
  • My energy levels are pretty good though, even with my less than perfect nutrition.  I managed to stay up to 4am at a party a few weeks ago, though I don’t think that’s something I’ll be doing again!  But I don’t feel as tired as I did at the start of the 3rd trimester, so I’m enjoying it while it lasts.
  • I think a lot of this is because my sleep is still generally as good as it was before pregnancy.  I’m usually only up once for the loo, and getting back to sleep isn’t usually an issue either.  What a difference to my last pregnancy, and I owe it all to my body pillow.
  • I went to my last Clubbercise class at 29 weeks, so I’ve been swimming instead.  I’m also keeping up with my strength workouts and yoga too.  I’m finding them a little tougher, but besides struggling to motivate myself a bit I’m still pretty regular with my sessions.

 

So, ticking along nicely. And it makes me feel all warm inside to know that next time I do a recap like this…I’ll be on maternity leave!!

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my birth plans [ part 1 ] – home birth

 

Things (finally) got underway in preparing for our little man’s arrival this weekend.  I’m due in six weeks so it’s high time we got cracking, but because this will be boy number 3 and we kept everything from last time (and some things from the teenager’s baby days too!), we’ve got a bit too relaxed about things.  I always go overdue, so it feels like we have so little to do and so much time.

But this weekend, a smidgen of nesting must have taken hold.  I blame it on the fact we spent most of Saturday volunteering at the nursery, helping them to refresh the gardens.  Painting fences and murals to get the place looking good for the summer clearly set off some sort of chain reaction in my head.  I came home and sorted our mountain of baby clothes into sizes, washed the 0-3 month stuff and went to town with the stain remover on the white items.  We dug out the cot, Moses basket and carry cot so we can get new mattresses ordered too.  I just need to clean the pram and car seat, and figure out how to work our new Perfect Prep machine…and then I think we’ll be pretty much good to go.

 

Looking forward to birth

With getting things ready, my mind has turned to the birth.  Ok, who am I kidding – I’ve been thinking about the birth for a while!  But things are getting real now, and I thought I’d do a few blog posts in the coming weeks about what our plans are.  I had swithered about telling people, either in real life or on the blog, as I’m conscious that plans change.  But I’m getting more confident about saying that we’re hoping for a water birth at home this time around, and I have an urge to write about it.  So this is part one, about why I want to birth at home.

 

Wanting a home birth doesn’t make me a crazy, placenta-eating hippie

(no offence if you ate/buried/painted with yours)

Reactions of those I’ve told that I’m planning a home birth have been mixed.  Actually, most people have been very positive.  But there are some who had a sharp intake of breath, pulled a face or made some sort of rather-you-than-me comment.  I suppose I can understand where they’re coming from – what with the only representation of a home birth you’re likely to see on tv being in a Call the Midwife 1950’s slum or as part of some shock-tactic documentary about women who are more interested in their placenta than their baby, a lot of people don’t have a reference point.  Rates are still low, sitting at around 3% of all births, so not many people will know someone who has done it.

But I’m hoping to be one of them.  And my placenta can go in the bin, for all I care.

 

A home birth wasn’t something I had considered until this pregnancy.

I was induced with the teenager so had him in hospital, and when we were having our four year old I was quite happy to deliver at the local birthing unit.  I don’t have anything against hospitals or birthing units, our old house was too tiny, we have a highly strung dog and I couldn’t be bothered with organising things, so a home birth just wasn’t on my radar.  All I wanted for my birth with my four year old was a relaxed atmosphere, hopefully a water birth and to use only the minimum of pain relief.  The where wasn’t really an issue.

That was, until the where became an issue, and left me with a birth experience that took me a long while to process and make peace with.

 

My last birth experience took me while to get over

At a routine appointment in my last pregnancy, the midwife thought she heard a missed beat in my baby’s heart rate, and without even seeing me to assess it themselves the powers that be medical staff decided I could no longer deliver at the birthing unit.  I would have to travel to the nearest hospital 35 minutes away, and when my labour started it became apparent how long 35 minutes in a car can really feel.

I went into labour naturally, and spent the day quite happily pottering about at home with intermittent contractions.  Unfortunately, my mum turned up at about 4pm and nagged me into going to the hospital before the rush hour traffic got too bad.  As I knew would happen, come 7pm I was on my way home having been sent away as my labour wasn’t established.  I was cautious about making another wasted and uncomfortable trip only to be sent away again, so I held out at home…

We were caught off-guard by how fast things progressed and just a few hours later Hubs had to bundle me into the car as I started to push.  We didn’t make it to the hospital.  After a panicked drive where I fought every contraction and urge to push, my baby was born in the car park while smokers standing at the entrance watched on.

For a long time afterwards I would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking I was still in the car.   I’d then then lie awake and pick apart all the things I felt I’d done wrong – I didn’t fight my corner to deliver at the birthing unit, I stayed at home too long, I didn’t trust my own judgement, maybe we should have called an ambulance.  I blamed my mum for nagging me to go to the hospital too soon, I blamed the medical staff for their decision (they took a 2 minute look at my baby after he was born and said his heart was fine), but most of all I blamed myself.  Hello post-natal depression.

 

Why I want a home birth this time

Well, I think that’s kind of obvious – to feel relaxed and in control, to avoid any time in the bloody car, and to have some privacy to birth in.  I just want to concentrate on bringing my baby into the world with as few distractions and worries as possible, and for me that means being in my favourite place.

I am a “low risk” mum – no health conditions and no pregnancy complications which could pose an issue, and with two quick and straightforward births to my name already.  I’m healthy and confident in my body’s ability to give birth naturally and with minimal pain relief.  This all means that for me, home is just as safe (if not more so) than a hospital setting for welcoming my baby into the world.

Being at home also means I’m guaranteed a water birth or at least use of a pool in labour, without the risk of someone else getting in before me, as we have bought our own (I’ll talk more about that in part 2).  It means I can eat and drink if and when I want.  It means I can have candles and my oil burner to create the atmosphere I want, with my own comforts around me.  It also means that after the birth, Hubs wont have to disappear home and I wont have to spend a night in an alien environment.  It means being somewhere where I feel I can have my say and make my own decisions.  And I wont be freaking out about delivering my baby by the side of the road.

 

Home birth blogs

Although every birth is different, I  love to read about other women’s experiences and I’ve been really enjoying all the bloggers out there who have shared theirs.   So to finish off, I thought I’d link to my favourites in case anyone else wanted a read.

Rock My Family – a calming home birth

Gas & Air Blog – home birth stories (especially Annalise’s story)

Making Luna – birth story

Monkey & Mouse – birth story

 

Have you had a home birth – what was your experience?  If you know of any good blogs to read about babies who were born at home, I’d love it if you could share in the comments!

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my pregnancy at 30 weeks

 

So that’s me through my 30th week of pregnancy, and I’ve been pretty crap at keeping any sort of record.  With my teenager I kept a journal for most of the time, and with my four year old I took a bump pic each week.  This time around, nada.  I had a pregnancy book which I bought last time and never got round to filling in, so I figured I’d use it this time around.  But when I sat down to do it, I wasn’t crazy about a lot of the sections…it felt too forced.  I want to make some sort of effort though, given that this is going to be the last time I manufacture a tiny human.

And would you look at this – now I have a blog to do it in.

I warn you now though, I’m no earth mother who thinks the miracle of pregnancy is a wonder to meditate upon.  I’m basically a cranky bitch, and I’m quite looking forward to getting to the finish line.  But I’ll try to sprinkle in some positives…

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