Writing about the five essentials you need on a weight loss journey last week lit a fire under me. I feel unstoppable with my weight loss right now, because considering each of those five things really focused me. My results on the scale were better than I’d hoped. And I’m so glad, because I am sick of being in weight loss wardrobe limbo. Confession? I only have one pair of jeans that fit me…and I wear them every damn day.
I wear my jeans for two (ok…three) days, then have to wash and dry them strategically so I don’t end up doing the school run in my pants. Right now they have mud on the bottom of the right leg, so I’m going to have to baby wipe that away because I can’t fit in a wash and dry before the school pick up.
I’m aware I sound like a tramp.
how did it come to this?
I’m not sure how I ended up with only one pair of jeans to wear. Pre-pregnancy I had a few pairs I could rotate. I can only assume that in my one attempt to Konmari my life (which even nesting couldn’t force me to sustain), I binned all the jeans that didn’t “spark joy.” Let me tell you, being left with only one pair of jeans that fit ain’t exactly sparking the joy right now either.
Why don’t I just buy more pairs? Because I do not plan on staying this size long enough to make that a worthwhile investment. I find it very difficult to justify spending money on clothes, and when I do it’s because I know I will wear those items to death.
The other issue is this. I’m a size 14, and I have at least two other size 14 jeans in my wardrobe. I honestly thought once the pregnancy weight was gone I’d fit back in to all the 14’s. But I forgot that clothing companies are fucking crazy. So whilst this current pair of size 14’s (Primark) fit me and have done since a week after giving birth, my other two (New Look and George…I know, I’m the style queen) don’t. I’m not even looking at my 12’s.
there are no other options
And I do have leggings, and dresses, and skirts. But I’m a jeans girl. If I did the school run or Baby Sensory in a dress I’d feel a bit overdone. And wearing leggings in public makes me feel as if I forgot to get dressed.
I scoured the charity shops at the weekend, but it would appear that size 14 jeans that fit are something no woman wants to part with. Even for cancer research or homeless people or heart conditions. Though I did get a cute little knitted skirt with snowflakes on it for Christmas. Priorities.
the weight loss wardrobe
When you’ve yo-yo dieted the way I have, you can end up with a weight loss wardrobe. A closet that covers all bases. Mine has ranged from size 22 down to size 8. When I lost weight the first time I gleefully chucked away all my “big” clothes as the weight came off. But I had to replace items all the way back up to a 16 after gaining weight in pregnancy. When I lost the weight again, I was too scared to chuck away too much in case I needed them again. But at the same time, I couldn’t bring myself to chuck out my “skinny” clothes either, as I hoped I would one day wear them again.
A few years ago I wondered whether part of my yo-yoing was because of my weight loss wardrobe. Every time I opened the doors I simultaneously felt guilty for not being slimmer and reassured at still having clothes to wear. I’d diet to slim down, get disheartened at still not fitting in to my old clothes, and gain weight again with clothes waiting which provided a crash pad. My weight loss wardrobe was not helping me at all.
So I decided to take some action. I sent all my size 8, 10 and 16 clothes to charity shops – I didn’t want to be a 16 again, and the smaller sizes were unrealistic. The size 14 clothes were what fit me and I decided that a size 12 was my ideal, so I kept those.
So that’s why I’m now in weight loss wardrobe limbo. Too stubborn to buy bigger clothes, too big to wear the clothes I’ve got. But it’s serving as a motivator.
And at least it takes the decision making out of getting dressed in the mornings…